Category Archives: Author Post

Fail Fast, Fail Often—Evolve

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I followed through with what I said I would do. Starting a few weeks ago, I hopped on querytracker.net and began submitting to agents. And yes, the headline means the rejection notices have started coming in.

For starters, it sounds a lot easier than it is.  There’s a number of things you need to do before submitting to agents:

  • Write a compelling query letter
  • Write your synopsis (3-4 pages tops)
  • Clip the first five pages of your book
  • Investigate agents on querytracker.net and see may be the best fit

Anxious to get this process moving, I did my vetting and sent out three initial queries with limited customizations for each agent.

Within 24 hours I had my first email form letter rejection. The next one came a few days later.  They are not fun to get. But, given that many places don’t even respond now (and can take up to 6-8 weeks to do a form letter rejection), I appreciated the quick responses. It really forced me to scrutinize my work, and admit the problems.

I have to be honest, when I sent out the submissions my query letter had a drab conviction statement (why this book, why me writing it) and I wasn’t happy with the first five pages of chapter one. Right? I know. The first pages are the most important. The rest of the book is solid—honest!  BUT, what was I thinking?

“Always put your best foot forward.” I had to remind myself that agents are already flooded with a million other submissions from people just like me. They’ll give me two seconds to catch their attention. If I don’t (and readers at book stores and on Amazon do this too), game over. No second chances, no second glances. That book is stuck on the black list of do not respond to…

So, okay. I literally rewrote Chapter 1 (which is really just 5 pages anyway). I tightened it up, reduced out information the reader really didn’t need to know (even if I as the author wanted to tell them “all this cool stuff that came from the original trilogy”). It’s MUCH more focused and compelling! Hey, better late than never I guess.  See, I’m learning all the time yet!

I also thought a lot about “Why this book now?” In the first version I talked about how I channeled my own live experiences into the characters, which made them more accessible and relate-able. Well, isn’t that wonderful. What author can’t say that?! Well, we all should be able to say that…  I needed something that spoke to the uniqueness of the approach.

When I think about the book, beyond the traditional epic invasion with big bad guys, and the superhuman abilities, the heart of my story is a very intimate one. Rhysus Mencari would do anything to find and free his family. Anything. The kicker is what Mencari finds done to his family by his enemy. It’s far worse than death. After all that Mencari’s been through, including the self-hating for failing to protect them to begin with, what has been done pushes him over the edge.  That’s what the story is about.

So, I rewrote the conviction section to talk about that very dynamic. I also went back and pumped up my synopsis to include more of the dramatic and plot twisting moments that I left out “due to saving space.” Don’t use space for things that aren’t key to the interesting parts of your book, or readers of your synopsis will think your story is boring. “NEXT!”

I’m still learning every day. I just sent out two more queries today. We’ll see what happens to them.

Out of the interest in sharing (and potentially getting feedback—email me if you have any), here’s my complete submission: query letter, first five pages, and synopsis.  Even if this isn’t the final version that captures the interest of an agent, I believe in my series.  I’ll keep you posted on progress.

 

 

Dear x y,

<Insert something here about why you sent to them.> I am seeking representation for my adult science fiction novel, D’mok Revival: New Eden, complete at 111,000 words. The alien invasion is over. Rhysus Mencari and his D’mok Warriors have emerged victorious. But the scars of war run deep, and his duty is far from over. Enemy remnants cling to conquered worlds, their allies lurk in the dark, and the infamous Kajlit’ga and her superhuman beast warriors remain at large.

With the New Eden station finally operational, Rhysus Mencari and his allies gain a new platform from which to create an enduring freedom and lasting peace. But a discovery leads to a far more burdensome trial. The family he thought murdered are, in fact, prisoners of war. An obsession to free them taints his every move, and threatens to tear apart everything he created.

Rhysus Mencari, the warrior who lost his family, struggles to become the husband and father he was meant to be. The decisions and sacrifices he makes along the way breaches the trust of those he leads. Will the team he created remain loyal knowing his judgement is compromised, or take matters into their own hands? Despite all he’d seen during war, is he prepared for what has become of his family?

Why is this book important now? In a time when heroes like The Avengers and Captain Kirk battle epic enemies, my work layers on a far more intimate struggle. While already warring with his inadequacy to protect those he loves, Rhysus discovers his greatest enemy is the very family he longs to rescue.

New Eden is my sixth work in the D’mok Revival universe. An earlier trilogy and two novelettes were self-published. The first edition was launched at Chicago Comic Con 2013, promoted in SciFi magazine, and presented at events held by the Stan Lee Foundation. Over 3500 units were sold across eBook, audio format, and printed edition sales. It also won honorable mention in the science fiction category for the 2013 Reader Views Readers Choice Awards. New Eden serves as the entry point to attract a new audience while feeding the existing base.

I hope I’ve captured your interest. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Michael J. Zummo

http://www.dmokrevival.com

 

 

CHAPTER 1: The Dark Heart (the first 5 pages)

Rhysus, they’re alive.

                His mentor’s words echoed like demonic whispers in his mind. The longer he dwelled on it, the more exhausted he felt. Desperate for distraction, weary eyes scanned across the dark, makeshift quarters. The space felt sparse but functional, like his life.

Bursts of light pulled his attention to schematics and battle plans projected before him. Updates from his commanders streamed in, along with quivering panels which demanded his response. But the phrase wouldn’t let go.

They’re alive…

Helpless to resist, he found his gaze drawn to a small holographic image, floating just out of reach. There, a copper-skinned beauty draped with long black hair stood among a ragged crowd. A youth clung to her side, chocolate eyes peering out, beaded in terror.

Anaka. Rhyiel.

                His heart swelled with a confused mixture of love, loss, and shame.

The image was taken directly from the stolen Nukari archives, along with information that placed it posthumous for his family. It shouldn’t be possible, yet everything about it appeared legitimate.

               Alive…

His mind still rejected the notion. How many years had he suffered the same nightmare? He didn’t even have to be dreaming to relive it. Nukari fighters opened fire on the escape pod carrying his family. He heard his son’s cry, his wife’s shriek, felt the shockwave of the explosion. Each accursed time he awoke to the sound of his screams echoing off the walls. It was a cruel torment.

And yet, as his mind separated fact from fiction, reality from nightmare, one truth emerged. He never saw their escape pod explode. His superhuman abilities emerged in a blinding light before the Nukari even fired. Instead, he fell unconscious, waking weeks later in a top-secret Coalition hospital. There he learned of the complete annihilation of the Coalition’s space station, everyone aboard, including his family. The Nukari left no survivors—except him.

What he relived each night was not truth, but rather a fabrication of his own mind, served up in the most horrific way possible. Until seeing the recovered picture, he never considered another fate for his wife and son.

He fidgeted with the wedding ring he’d once taken off, having accepted their passing. Their survival should have made him feel better. It didn’t. His head shook in disgust. It shouldn’t be easier to believe they were dead. A part of him wished it true. Before, Anaka and Rhyiel met a quick fate. But now they were prisoners of a cruel and ruthless enemy.

Are they suffering?

He winced. His heart ached at the thought. There was no greater pain or shame than failing to protect his family. His stomach knotted. A bitter taste rose in his throat.

Will it be today?

                The phrase danced in his mind like steak dangled before a starving pit bull. The thought greeted him every morning. For a while it represented hope that a new discovery would lead to his family. But now? Now, it was a torturous mantra that mocked him. Desperate, it teased him before every attack, plagued him after each victory. The answer was always the same: no. All he wanted was one data point, one tiny clue to show him the way. Or, a sign their suffering had ended.

Rhysus, they’re alive.

He’d give anything—do anything—to free them. Despite it all, nothing he did got him any closer to it. He felt his heart pound, and his face prune with anger. Nothing would stop him, he’d keep hunting, until he had answers.

With a swipe in the air, the updates before him transformed into a holographic timeline dotted with events and glowing panels of information.

Nine months.

It felt longer. Kiyanna Kyoda had done well. The former military scout and hoverbike enthusiast had proved herself a skilled military strategist and D’mok Warrior. Her siege against the Nukari began with the destruction of their command hub.

                It was a calculated but desperate play. Her plan gave them the only chance to strike their elusive enemy, and strike hard. Though their victory came with great sacrifice. One undisputed hero emerged—a martyr.

Seigie …

The memory still shook him.

Defeat seemed imminent. Nukari reinforcements poured through an intergalactic gateway connecting to their home space. A massive ship, the Leviathan, was only halfway through when its cannons began shredding the allied fleet. Despite combining abilities, his D’mok Warriors couldn’t damage the gateway or the massive ship.

He should have known Seigie wouldn’t honor an order to retreat. She charged her own crystal body and became a living bomb. He realized her plan too late and turned only in time to see her detonation. A blast of multicolored light blinded him. Then, the entire gateway twisted, the connection across space imploded. The Leviathan cleaved in half. Lights aboard it flickered moments before explosive decompression spewed equipment and people into space and a hellish glow engulfed the ship.

Seigie saved them.

                But I couldn’t save her.

Seigie’s sacrifice made Kiyanna’s plan succeeded. From that point forward Kiyanna led the strategic planning of their offenses. Her strategies struck hard and continued to deliver results.

The same stolen data that revealed his family lived also enabled his team to hunt down Nukari facilities, stalk their allies, and take their resources. He smiled. They bestowed the same mercy the Nukari gave to the Be’Inaxi, his fellow Humans, the Nomads, and countless other races: none. The Nukari deserved nothing more.

He looked across the timeline. Each dot called to mind the many critical junctures: the allied fleet returned to full strength, the liberation of Tericn, the capture of Nukari resource posts, and the freeing of indentured worlds. At the end of the timeline sat a large glowing sphere decorated with five crossed swords.

He grabbed into the air. Attack plans along with the latest field reports extruded from the swords emblem. A satisfied grunt escaped him. With the field commanders in place, the final push on Abunai could begin. Another of his D’mok Warriors would reclaim their home today. But what was the bigger surprise: Naijen waiting patiently and following directions to retake his world, or the fact it took two days for Kiyanna’s strategy to unite the indigenous clans and knock the Nukari back to their final stronghold? Both left him in awe. Both led to this moment. A roguish grin stretch across his face.

“Nowhere left to run.”

His words rang with a sadistic pleasure. Once they captured the Nukari leadership, he’d allow Naijen to work something useful out of them. One of them had to know something that could help him find his family.

A gentle tone accompanied a holographic video which projected beside him. He glanced over. Rigid stance, blond crewcut—Kiyanna.

Early as always.

                With a swiping gesture toward the video, it flashed green then disappeared. Behind him the door to the corridor opened. A gentle gust of cool air wafted in, along with the clopping of heavy leather boots.

“Sir.”

“Commander.”

She came to his side and snapped to attention with a quick salute.

He grinned. “At ease. You don’t really need to do that.”

“Habit, sir. I’d rather keep the formality.”

“As you wish. How goes preparations?”

“Ground teams are in position.…”

Before she could continue, a tone rang out again, with another video projection. An alien with a bony, light-blue exoskeleton, both aspects more prominent on his face, and pupil-less, jelly-like patches of red for eyes, waited impatiently.

“Ghn’en?” Mencari said, thinking aloud.

With a swipe, the door behind him opened. Mencari stood, concerned, and waited for the admiral of the Be’Inaxi fleet. The deep blues and purples of the Be’Inaxi uniform took on a grittier look in the dim light of the room. Ghn’en was an impressive specimen of his kind. In addition to his muscular, imposing size, he had two powerful arms, and two, more diminutive ones, directly underneath.

“Is there a problem?” Mencari said as the bulky alien marched in.

“Things been too quiet.” In place of a mouth, two vertical slits ran along an elongated nasal cavity, which moved as he talked in two tones at the same time, lending a singing quality to his speech. “Some strange reports with phantom readings that can never be verified. I don’t have good feeling about it. I think we should move up plans.”

“The ground teams can engage on a moment’s notice, sir,” Kiyanna added.

“Let’s check with the Nomads before making the final call.” The others nodded as Mencari spoke into the air. “Minea, please connect me to Varen.”

He didn’t need to see Minea to know she was there. The artificially intelligent creation of Toriko Purg, once known as Mini-T, seemed to have no bounds since the change.

A flurry of holographic cherry blossoms swirled above them. From it, a radiant light poured into a female form. The detail of Minea’s remarkably Human face and long sandy-blond hair appeared. Tall fox ears poked through the top, and a long bushy tail waved happily behind her. Long gone was the bright pink, high-tech suit with white neon stripes. Instead she wore a sleeveless royal purple tunic decorated with white flowers, and a black sash. White cloth wrapped her arms. A hip-length silver fauld with white trim made her look ready for battle. Despite the changes, she still held on to her dramatic flair.

She playfully wagged her fluffy tail. “Connect you to Varen? Since you asked so nicely!” With a wink, a portal of light appeared. It spun briefly before tipping over. As it fell, a humanoid with dark coral skin and short locks of turquoise appeared.

“Varen here.” His face was placid with an unnatural calm.

Ghn’en’s red-jelly eyes glowed. “How is far space faring?”

“Secured, and under continuous observation. We have seen an increase in phantom readings however.”

Ghn’en grunted. “See, we shouldn’t wait.”

“I would agree with the admiral,” Varen said.

“Then we mobilize our forces now. Remember the goal: take their leadership alive.”

“Yes, sir,” Kiyanna said with another salute.

“Minea, please prepare the shuttle,” Mencari said. “Kiyanna and I are heading down to Abunai.”

“You got it!”

Soon he’d have a lead on his family. He could feel it.

(BLOG NOTE: WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

D’mok Revival: New Eden Synopsis

RHYSUS MENCARI’s family died when aliens called the Nukari invaded. He spent years understanding the superhuman abilities which saved him, and assembling the D’mok Warriors, a band of aliens with abilities like his. When his forces defeated the Nukari, data taken from their archives revealed his family was not dead, but rather Nukari prisoners. From that moment on, gone was Rhysus Mencari, D’mok Warrior, savior of millions. In his place stood Rhysus Mencari, husband and father, desperate to rescue his family.

Now, he reflects on his predicament on the eve of an attack to reclaim his ally’s world from remnant Nukari forces. His true motivation: to find information about his family.  When the bloody attack is over, what’s left of Nukari leadership fails to produce new leads.

On the way back to their space station, New Eden, an anomaly redirects them to a rift in space. There they discover D’ABAR, an ancient mentor to one of Mencari’s D’mok Warriors. Visibly tortured, and near death, they bring him back to the station. There they discover D’abar was punished for giving aid to Mencari when he visited their world.

While D’abar is treated, the leader of New Eden reveals a lead on an abandoned Nukari space platform. To their surprise they find new aliens, the Nasidrac, have laid claim to the station. Wanting to investigate the former Nukari facility, Mencari takes his forces to negotiate. After a tense stand-off, the Nasidrac present the gutted technologies from the platform. Using powerful artificial lifeforms from New Eden, they assemble and reactivate the equipment to discover the location of another Nukari platform.

Probes to the new location reveal a platform still in use. However, it appears in the process of being evacuated. By the time the D’mok Warriors arrive, most of the platform appears abandoned. However, a small bundle of life signs draws them inside. Mencari senses the presence of his son. Deep inside the platform they find a host of prisoners left behind, guarded by a few Nukari soldiers. After dispensing with the soldiers, Mencari frantically searches for his family among the captives. Failing to find them, he begins to free prisoners, only to spring a Nukari trap. A torrent of beasts rushes at them. Only able to protect a few freed, Mencari dooms those still bound to a grisly death, while leading a retreat. While fending off the beast hoard, three super-human Nukari beast warriors attack. Among them is a powerful youth named JASK. As the D’mok Warriors and beasts battle, they discover Jask’s attacks cannot hurt Mencari. After a fierce fight, Jask collects his wounded allies and flees.

When Mencari’s team returns to New Eden they learn preparations to retake COGENI’s world, Argosy, are complete. Mencari hopes to capture the Nukari Commander on Argosy, and use him to get information about his family. Upon arrival they meet up with old allies who now also lead the resistance movement against the Nukari. They reveal the Nukari killed Cogeni’s mother, the matriarch and spiritual leader of Argosy, in order to take power of Argosy. Mencari must now help take back a world, and restore Cogeni as patriarch and ruler. Using New Eden technology, they disable Nukari defenses and trap their enemy. When a battle ensues, the Nukari Commander jumps to his death rather than be captured. Cogeni remains on Argosy, while Mencari returns agitated, again without new leads.

Upon returning to New Eden, Mencari and a team of D’mok Warriors go under cover as guards at a prison planet to rescue one of their own. When their escape attempt fails, and the team faces capture or death, the mounting pressures lead Mencari to a mental break. Unbounded, his abilities take on a mind of their own, sucking the power from his teammates and creating a way out. Despite their survival, Mencari falls unconscious. The event leaves his teammates wary of his degrading mental state and new power-draining ability.

Weary of Mencari’s unchecked power, D’abar questions whether Mencari is fit to lead.

While Mencari recovers, the D’mok Warriors, led by the telepath KATEN, respond to a distress call by the allied Human Coalition vessel. There they find Nukari beast warriors led by Jask and three silver-skinned youths attacking. Katen uses his abilities to mindwalk his enemies. His discovers the youths are actually from D’abar’s world and that Jask is really Mencari’s son, hidden in a beast-shaped encounter suit. Before the youths can be recovered, the Nukari flee.

Mencari awakens to news about the Coalition vessel, in addition to word they’ve found and freed his wife, ANAKA, from the Nukari. He travels with the damaged ship and a few D’mok Warriors into Coalition space to return their property and meet his wife. His self-loathing magnifies as he dwells on his inability to find and save her himself. His mental state worsens when he finds her medically sedated, her body ravaged from torture.

Before he can depart, the Coalition military threatens to harm Anaka if he doesn’t surrender to them. After he complies, he’s paraded before Nukari commanders that have taken over the Coalition. Nukari taunting combines with Mencari’s degrading mental state, leading to another unhinging. This time, his abilities create protective barriers around his allies, while incinerating his enemies in a fearsome blast of energy. He departs for the D’mok Warrior’s asteroid base along with his team and wife, leaving the Coalition in the hands of fellow Humans.

The D’mok Warriors, prodded by D’abar, discuss Mencari’s growing instability. D’abar creates doubt of Mencari’s leadership in the minds of the team. The team discusses their next mission, and directly exclude Mencari.

While in the asteroid base’s infirmary with his wife, a group of D’mok Warriors bring in a wounded Jask along with three youths from D’abar’s world. Mencari is exasperated to find out his team attempted such a mission without him. This is compounded by their revelation Jask is his son. His disbelief blends with the second instance of his inability to save his own family.

When a garbled transmission comes in from a still-captured allied world, Mencari leaves his unconscious family in the infirmary to make use of himself. He leads a small team, D’mok abilities blazing, to planet Aeun. There he is met by furious allies that don’t understand why he’s attacking. Its revealed the forces holding Aeun patriated after the main Nukari armada fell. The transmission was simply an update on their world’s status, not a distress call. Mencari is told he will be held accountable for the damage, and told to leave Aeun.

Upon return to the asteroid base, he finds it in ruin. While stabilizing the base and helping the wounded, he discovers his son caused the calamity. It’s revealed his wife had been conditioned while held prisoner to help Jask. Mencari is left wondering if Kajlit’ga architected the recovery of his wife and son for this outcome from the start. His wife helped free Jask, resulting in Katen’s obliteration. Once freed, it’s clear Jask attempted to destroy the base and kill everyone inside. Overwhelmed with grief, Mencari’s mind completely unhinges. He draws the conclusion his son is dead and only a monster lives on.

He chases his son across space to a world housing the remaining Nukari stronghold. His fellow D’mok Warriors and allies from New Eden follow to finally eliminate the Nukari. Jask reminds Mencari he’s powerless to hurt him. Using his new ability, an enraged Mencari draws the power from friend and foe alike for one devastating strike against Jask. The attack fails to hit Jask, smashing into the world below. Jask flees to the surface to save his Nukari friends.

When Mencari follows, a telepathic beast warrior enters his mind. Scanning his mind to learn what she can before killing him, sees the truth about Jask’s origins, and Mencari’s intentions. She realizes the deception Kajlit’ga used to control Jask and the beast warriors. Instead of killing Mencari, she heals his rage, and informs him she’s removed the mental conditioning from Jask’s mind. The monster is gone, and his son RHYIEL lives again. Furious at losing her pawn, Kalit’ga kills the telepath. When Kajlit’ga then uses her beasts as living shields to protect herself, the enslaved creatures turn on Kajlit’ga and kill her. The combined D’mok and allied forces destroy the remaining hostile Nukari.

Despite the victory, the trust between Mencari, his team, and allies are broken. He sets off to a location only known to his closest friends to help his family heal. D’abar steps into Mencari’s position as leader of the D’mok Warriors.

From the heart… Revising the 4th manuscript.

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I’m currently in the revising phase of the fourth manuscript in the D’mok Revival series.  This involves thinking about the first three books with the changes to characters, places, abilities, etc. and allowing myself to “rewatch” the scenes in this latest manuscript. I then update the manuscript with those new visions.

The entire manuscript is around 270 unformatted (not typeset for publishing) page in Microsoft Word. The current word count is around 92,000, which is on-par with the other three books. In the end, it will easily be 400+ typeset pages when published.

I’m very happy with the recent progress, and the direction of the manuscript. I originally wrote it back in 2010. I was in a very different place in my life then, and clearly the story was heavily influenced by my own personal struggles at the time. Five years down the road, I’m such a different person, and have a dramatically different perspective on things. Not to mention my writing style has evolved. This has led to a great deal of refactoring large chunks of the story.

That isn’t the only reason, of course. I’d received feedback starting with the release of the first book stating I needed to keep a strong focus of the story action on Rhysus Mencari, the main character.

I think it’s fine to present sections from the perspective of other characters as it allows the reader to become deeply connected with the inner workings of the other characters. But the main story is about Rhysus Mencari. Keeping this in mind, I’m rewriting entire segments to be from Rhysus Mencari’s perspective.

What’s interesting is rather than inflicting the reader with my raw emotion through characters in the original version, readers are now treated to a more mature view from Rhysus Mencari’s perspective. In essence, I’ve traded off the pain of the experience, for the wisdom of a path already traveled.

To be honest, some of the dynamics written about back in 2010 were incredibly raw and real. They contained direct conversations I had with someone formerly close to me—things which hurt me deeply—and I immortalized it in the dialogue between characters going through the same ordeal in my story.

I thought, at the time, it was a very good idea.  After all, one of the strengths of the D’mok Revival series was the ability to present very real and relatable characters and situations. Reviewing the manuscript now, I certainly captured the exactness of what happened back in 2010. However, it now feels better left private. Don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly cathartic to write it out at the time. It’s still somewhat like looking at a scar revisiting those lines and phrases. But the original emotional need I had to expunge the experience and externalize it on paper has served its purpose.

The Michael Zummo of 2015 would rather provide my series fans with what I learned from the experience, rather than tiresome drama. The rewritten segments are still real, while returning it to a realm I feel more appropriate (and mature).

Anyway, I’m very excited in the transformation happening in the fourth manuscript. My goal is to still have the book ready by the holiday season.  It is August, and I know many editors (including my wonderful editor Arlene Robinson) are getting slayed right now. So, we’ll see when the final release date is.  I also need to start working with Glenn Clovis on the cover too (oooh, yeah, I really need to get moving on that too).

The best laid plans of mice and men…

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There’s so many things going on right now.  It’s an exciting time!  The official D’mok Revival board game is moving forward.  The second novelette is being edited by Arlene and Glenn Clovis is working on yet another amazing cover.

I’ve been making slow progress on restructuring the fourth manuscript. It’s always an interesting challenge to update an existing work based on all the edits and changes that happened to the manuscripts before it.

I wasn’t going to announce this just yet, but I alluded to how the series is going to continue to go strong well after the first trilogy.

The fact is, while trying (note: TRYING) to stay focused on book #4 in D’mok Revival’s main lineage, the first book in the first spin-off has been talking to me.  By talking to me I mean daily, thoughts, little movie sequences playing in my head.  It’s great stuff, and very existing.  I continue to write notes and file it away for later.  Yet something keeps drawing me back that book instead of #4…

I’m a firm believer in listening to your creativity. It ebbs and flows as it wants to–never as you want or when you want.  So if it’s doing its thing–LET IT–GO WITH IT!

So, I sat down and wrote 14 pages this morning… the entire first chapter.  This builds on the prolog I wrote earlier in the week.

The series is called Weun Academy. The working subtitle, for the moment is: Boy with the green eyes.  For those that have followed the series, you know exactly who this is…  😉

If there’s a clear high-concept model I’d say it’s a hybrid of Starship Troopers, X-Men, and Harry Potter.  Clearly there’s still Japanese Anime inspirations, and it’s within the D’mok Revival literary universe.

This side trilogy isn’t just a “nice to know” aspect, it actually reveals a very important dimension about how the abilities are impacting the alien community…  And sets the stage for D’abar…

Okay, that’s all I’m saying for now…  Teaser?  Yes.  It’s fun to share.  I get excited about these things…  And inspired!!!

Taxes Fun

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There’s a benefit to running your own publishing company (mine is Zummo Books, LLC).  I’m able to identify the production costs and things along with the income from sales on Amazon, ACX, iTunes, etc.

If you have your own company, you may need to file 1099 MISC forms for each contractor you paid over $600.  There can also be penalties for not filing (YIKE).  It was the case for me here in Wisconsin anyway.

My awesome accountant pointed me to some great online resources that might be useful for you:

  • http://www.komisarbrady.com/resources/self-serve-1099s-and-w-2s.html
  • http://www.komisarbrady.com/resources/filing-1099s.html

Personally, I went with http://www.filetaxes.com.

Before you can put one together you’re going to have to have:

Your Company information (including EIN or tax reporting SSN number, address, phone, etc.)

Your Contractor information (individual name, company name if available, EIN or SSN for them, address, phone number, email).

You want your total amount paid for the year to them.

What I found great about filetaxes.com is it also told me of additional information or requirements needed for the 1099 MISC based on the state of the contractor.  Sometimes you have to fill out additional fields on the 1099 form.  They helped me through all that.

I followed their directions, paid my $4.99 per form (very affordable), then received my email notification the form had been sent to my contractors and filed with the IRS. So simple and worry free!  🙂

Anyway, as I continue work on my books and board game, thought I’d share this little insight with you!

Working with Amazon’s CreateSpace for D’mok Revival: Mindwalk

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Amazon as a company continues to surprise me.  Not only do they have an amazing ecommerce platform, powerful ebook publishing system, and well designed audio-book development studio, but their print-on-demand book publishing wing has proven to be equally as intuitive, powerful, and effective!

When I first ventured into self-publishing I wanted to establish credibility as both a legitimate author and producer of a professional product. To do this I contracted with editors, visual designers, and a smaller traditional printer. I certainly made my mistakes and learned a great deal.  In the end, the euphoric feeling of holding my first book rocked me to my core and cemented my dedication to being an author and publisher.

There’s much to be weary of in the print industry and when conducting your own business. While not insurmountable, there are many mines in the path for those venturing down publisher lane.  Read some of my older blog entries about those issues.

After publishing my third book, I wanted to bring a segment removed from the third manuscript to market as a novelette (between 10-17k words).  Unlike my main books, I didn’t want to carry inventory (translation, keep boxes of books at home waiting to be sold) for the novelette. In truth, I thought it would have a limited appeal given it builds off the third book of my first trilogy versus standing alone as a short story. But, I have some amazing fans that may be interested in it, and the story is interesting!

Enter Amazon’s CreateSpace!

A friend and fellow author Tim Clausen recently released his own book, Love Together, using CreateSpace. He briefly talked about his positive experience using the platform. It made me reconsider leveraging the offering.

Originally I stayed away from the platform because it didn’t offer the book size I wanted. After all, I had done a great deal of research about popular and contemporary science fiction book sizes and wanted to do what the market wanted and expected.

However, since this was expected to be a low-distribution product, if there was ever a good time to test CreateSpace, this was it!

To be blunt, CreateSpace is amazingly intuitive to use. Keep in mind, I’m used to working directly with the printer. This includes specifying every last detail from paper, bleeds, trims, cover gloss type, placement of the UPC, creating detailed cover files, desktop publishing and formatting of the internal content–everything.

Upon entering CreateSpace, I checked the book sizes offered. As before, my preferred size was not there. However, one size was pretty close.  Once I knew the size, I could work on my cover and back cover images. Luckily I had three books of templates to work with now. Sure, I had to adjust the size in Photoshop, but I feel like an old pro making covers now.

The tricky part is always the spine. Based on the number of pages, the spine size changes, which means there’s ALWAYS an adjustment needed for your book cover templates (unless they’re always the same page count).  Turns out, for the Mindwalk novelette, it was under 100 pages so they couldn’t even provide a size estimate for the spine!  Translation: they couldn’t tell me how big to make the spine.

Okay, that was clear a snag.  But they gave me an approximate overall size I needed for the full front, spine, back cover file.  I adjusted to those dimensions.  I saved out the required JPEG format.  Done.

Next, I used Microsoft Word–I know it’s not a desktop publisher–to do the simple text formatting for the inside of the book.  It honestly can held the type of design I need for a book, including inserting of images as needed. So, I don’t really need more power than that for the inside contents. After a final review, the Word document was all squared away.  Done.

Back into CreateSpace I went.

It allows you to create an ISBN number through Amazon. That just means you don’t have to pay for a seperate ISBN book sales and distrubion number (you need a unique one for each book and delivery format–including ebooks). You could use your own if you have them. However, if you use Amazon’s free ISBN number, it becomes exclusive to their system.  Again, this was for Mindwalk, not one of the core novels, so this was fine.  I selected the radio button specifying to use theirs.  Done.

I selected the book size.  Done

I uploaded the cover JPEG image.  Done

I uploaded the Word document. Done

I was able to instantly do an on-line preview. Great! Saw a warning the dots per inch (DPI) resolution on my bio picture was too low. It’s just there for reference and I don’t mind if my picture is not higer quality in a novelette. Clicked OK. Done.

It asked about cover details like do you want it to be glossy (shiny) or matte (dull, more paper-like).  Done.

The next step was a final online review or have them send a printed proof at the cost of production plus shipping. For Mindwalk the cost was a little over $2.15 to print, plus shipping.  Perfect.

*ALWAYS get a printed proof so you can review it.*  I learned this from going the traditional route. Avoid rushing a product to market because you want it out there faster.  Quality is more important than speed with traditional novels and novelettes.  Remember one mad person turns into a review that stunts any future sales potential. And that review lives forever, especially on Amazon.

I set the final price ($.50 above what Amazon said I had to sell it for based on using their platform and their expected profit). I also flagged for them to go ahead and do distribution and promotion of the book across their international sites, etc.

A week later I received the printed proof and found tweaks I wanted to make. I popped back into the system, clicked on the Mindwalk book, and easily re-uploaded the cover and inner content Word document. I ordered a second printed proof.  You can get expedited shipping if you want. I didn’t need that, so I was not willing to pay the additional cost for it. I found a few tweaks again, but did not order a third proof.  I felt confident enough to approve it from a final online review.

One button click and it went into the system for people to order.  It says it could take up to a few hours to show up publicly.  Regardless, it was painless the entire time.

WAIT!  That’s not totally true!  Use Chrome not Internet Explorer.  Their online preview tool works better with Chrome, and glitches a bit with Internet Explorer.

Okay, other than that, it was great.  The cost to print is so low.  You don’t have to carry any inventory! Honestly, it’s difficult to consider going back to the traditional printers.  However, I do want to maintain the style and format I’ve established from the first three novels.

We’ll see what I chose for the fourth novel in the D’mok Revival series, which has already entered my “rewrite” process.  I can confirm there’s another novelette coming, and it will use CreateSpace.

I highly recommend it!  Email me with questions about the experience!

D’mok Revival series continues!

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While I wanted to give myself a little time from writing, my other related side project (which I’ll talk about at my book launch party on January 31st) hasn’t kept me busy enough.  Yes, I’ve been getting bored, and book 4 has been calling.

Since mid-December, I’ve actually been working on editing the fourth manuscript for D’mok Revival. I’m thankful for the many lessons I’ve learned to date. It clearly has impacted my approach.

Most notably, I’m not going to positon this as the fourth book in the series.  What I’ve found is a great resistance to people reading books 2 and 3 if they didn’t read book 1.  Or, if they have read the first book didn’t like it, they wouldn’t continue forward. Again, I understand why. If the first one wasn’t something people liked, why would they continue?  However, my writing style dramatically shifted as I revised the manuscript for book 2. I feel like there’s literally thousands of people (since book one has sold thousands of copies) that have not experienced this new style, and would like it more.

Therefore, the new book will come next with respect to the timeline (“the fourth book”) but it will be positioned as a new entry in the D’mok literary universe, perhaps as a new trilogy, but not just as “book 4.”  It may seem subtle, but if people read it as book 4, they’ll assume they have to read the first three to understand it.  That will not be the case. This new book will cover what a reader needs to know without going back and experiencing the first three in sequence. 😉

My other observation diving back into the fourth manuscript is how painful it can be to look at “old work.”  Sure, this manuscript was written back in 2010 and was the best writing I did to date, but… Yiesh…  I’m very proud of how far my style has come, which I can attribute to an amazing editor / mentor, and great feedback from an equally amazing fan base!  Honestly, I’m very grateful for the honesty and support I’ve been given. It drives me forward, and pushes myself to evolve and become a stronger writer!

Pulling the proverbial curtain back a moment, one of the more embarrassing aspects was the four unique story threads that fired off at the beginning of the book. This wasn’t just a parallel storyline (which I’m told is difficult to do effective), no I had four.  As if the reader was going to be able to keep any of it straight!  Perhaps George Martin can handle that (Game of Thrones anyone), but I should probably avoid it.  😉

Instantly, entire sections of the manuscript began shifting around. I’m also going to take one of the early threads and push it into a separate novelette, much like I did with the Mindwalk story. There are other candidates within the book 4 manuscript that may join it as well.

One of the biggest challenges is how evolved the D’mok universe, its locations and characters have become.  For instance, the contemporary version of Kiyanna would literally not do a number of the things presented in book 4.  By the end of book 3 she’s doing exactly what she’s always wanted–always planned–to do.  She’s not just going to up and abandon that for a side mission.  However, in the right circumstances, while not having to give up the momentum she gained at the end of book 3, she would do the majority of what I originally wrote in 2010.

I get really excited when most of my original content holds up. It’s a great feeling! While still a bit painful, it’s fun to go back and upgrade these original manuscripts and see what happens.  It’s funny; I still remember the original story and approach.  I’ll have to do a post sometime about viewing rewrites as “quantum-realities” or “retconning.” But I honestly enjoy this final version.

The characters constantly surprise me, and I can’t wait to see how book 4 transforms.  It’s not due out until holiday 2015 (sorry).  But, maybe I can publish some of the book 4 short stories… maybe the prolog too. Maybe. 😉

From original manuscript to 3 books

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I’ve been asked how the original 286,000 word manuscript compared to the final 286,000 word Nukari Invasion Trilogy.  The truth is: it evolved a great deal!  Entire segments were removed or reconstructed, characters were added, new storylines injected, and timelines on various events shifted. This is due, in part, to an amazing editor (Arlene Robinson), reviews from family and friends, and my own growth as a writer.

Keep in mind, before D’mok Revival was a novel it was originally intended to be a role playing game. Hundreds of pages of backstory and a gameplay system created the foundation for a future computer/console RPG.

The original manuscript was my virtual play through of the original 24 source modules. Sure, the order seemed to make great sense at the time, but it could have happened very differently, after all, that’s what a game designer intends when creating modules for an expansive universe.  You want the game players to create their version of it through their decisions, etc.

 

For those concerned about spoilers, the next sections are clearly labeled with specific books and the changes made to them.  Read only as far as you’d like to!

 

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Book 1: Awakening

The first book was the closest to the original manuscript. My editor at the time helped with some grammatical aspects and some restructuring.  Note: it wasn’t Arlene Robinson for this book—long story why not. I corrected that mistake moving forward. He also said Rhysus had far too much power from the outset, always came up with a new ability to get himself out of a situation, and never seemed like he was honestly in danger–ever.

Now, anyone who’s watched Japanese Anime and sentai shows (Sailormoon, Dragonball Z, etc.) knows this is EXACTLY how characters develop and new abilities emerge.  Great burst of emotion, near defeat, with a win from a new power.  Nevertheless, the books were targeted at a North American audience, and toning things down didn’t seem so bad.  So how and when Rhysus’ abilities emerged was restructured.  He’s much less powerful and far less in control from start to finish.

His other major suggestion was to have Toriko’s “professor arc” resolve in book one. He said “something needs to be resolved in your first book.” And so, the professor, who was saved originally in book three, DIES in book one.  How’s that for a change?

Those were the main things the first editor contributed.  On to more changes that I imposed!

Originally there was no prolog. As I neared the end of writing the massive manuscript, I felt it needed more of an opener. I thought of this in terms of the opening CG of a video game. I wanted something that got the readers up-to-speed on the story and helped expose the mindset of Rhysus. In the end, I really loved the dark and disturbed result.

The first chapter, which introduced Osuto and Rhysus’ abilities remained mostly intact. My original editor suggested I cut everything from the prolog through Rhysus’ arrival at the Trading Post.  He was concerned the first part was too slow and would lose people. I kept it in because I wanted to provide more context for who Rhysus was and what he was doing and not just drop people into the Trading Post.

The initial experience on the trading post remained the same.

My editor originally suggested removing the introduction of Menla on Aeun. He said she was a red herring and didn’t have a purpose.  She does show up in the epilog of book 2, and comes back in book 4.  I, of course, had an idea of her future use and wanted to keep her introduction in so readers could go back and go “Oh my gosh, she’s right there–on Aeun–the WHOLE TIME!” 😉

The section with picking up Toriko was radically overhauled. The original concept had Daleron diverting Rhysus’ teleport to the underground versions and interrogating him, accusing him of kidnapping Toriko (who had gone missing).  It turns out she went into hiding herself and left cyber-caches that, after all were recovered, would lead to her. It provided more background about her legendary status on their version of the Internet as Master Tecra (alluded to in book 2), and her reputation for cyber-caching, a phenomena where they use the internet to find coordinates of cool things, then hunt down the caches at those coordinates. It’s actually based on GEO-Caching, a real thing in the USA. The parts found in the caches were assembled into a robot that led Daleron and Rhysus to her.  They trekked through more of the underground to bring down the teleportation system. There was also a communications grid that could phase in and out (don’t ask) they needed to destroy before invading the Nukari base found in the lower versions of the Murai Dome.

This whole thing was reworked to start with Toriko already in the company of Daleron. Spark also led Rhysus through the lower versions to her.  Don’t worry, a future book about Toriko will bring back more exploration of the lower versions of the Murai Dome on Tericn!

Toriko’s physical stature changed a bit.  The original editor said he didn’t envision her as more overweight (as she was listed), so I had Ujaku make a comment about her weight loss.  She’s not, and never will be, skinny. I want her to be a healthy weight, if not slightly over-weight.

Nothing changed when Toriko and Rhysus saved Ujaku from the mercenaries, nor when they went to the graveyard of ships. The chapters that cover the initial flight of their ship and crash remained the same.

The section that captured Rhysus’ chase of Allia through her caverns was shortened, but otherwise remained largely unchanged. The segment where Rhysus goes to Abunai and finds Naijen was the same.

When Allia falls sick with radiation poisoning, Eyani originally said the medical facilities were not up and going on the Trading Post yet, so she sends him to an ally of hers off-station. This relic store owner sends the team (minus Allia) on a mission to a dessert world to capture a creature that can siphon the radiation out of her (crazy right)?

This evolved into Eyani being able to help them directly with medical facilities, which you’d expect a massive station to have available. Instead, she asks a favor (the first of two). They do go to the desert world, but for a totally different reason. The adventure in the sand ruins was shortened, and refocused on the statue. The rest of that was in the original manuscript.

Crystal legacies remained the same.  But the final mission to the sister science station was embellished. I brought back the professor, who had led the Nukari to that station, and created a backstory for him to explain how and why that was possible. To my surprise, the professor was killed when the Nukari attempted to escape. Rhysus’ awakening with respect to his responsibilities and abilities also pop here.

The other major change was Bob’s role. Originally he was just comic relief.  As people read the original manuscript people LOVED him. Seriously, LOVED him. Given Bob was in every system an idea sprung to mind: what if Bob was much more than he seemed? He transformed in my mind from a helper system to a powerful AI that ran the station and much of Eden too.  He became a main character moving forward.

Another interesting dynamic was the human fallibility Rhysus displayed with how he handled the death of the professor.  This would come back to haunt him.

 

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Book 2: Retribution

I learned so much from book one’s release. There were insightful reviews, direct emails, Facebook messages, and more that helped me understand where the first book was strong, and where improvement could be found.  I’m thankful for the feedback!

One of the big issues from book one was: Where were the Nukari, exactly? Some criticized it was too “adventur-ie” and the main bad guys “just ran a company on one of the planets.” The original intention was the main character didn’t know much about what was going on, nor where the Nukari were, you the reader shouldn’t know either. That didn’t seem to work. In the end, people were looking for more action, more direct conflict with the Nukari, etc.

Believe it or not, the Nukari Beasts (or Combinates as they were originally called) were mentioned towards the end of book 2 defending a Dyson Sphere. It was this same chapter where Anrik’s group was first introduced.  When I began reworking book 2, I saw this as an immediate opportunity to build upon.

The prolog was actually a chapter that appeared earlier in book 2 that was intended to tease what was to come with Katen. With a few tweaks I infused information about the Nukari Beasts, Anrik’s team, and ultimately Mencari’s team into it. Suddenly it became a great primer for all the players the reader would encounter in book 2. Boom!  It was segmented out and placed as the prolog.

At that point I created the entire thread about the Nukari Beasts.  I had a short story I wrote to understand dynamics in my universe where Rhysus ran into Decreta (who was more human looking back then) in a bar. Soon both were called away, then found themselves meeting in combat in space directly after (yet somehow they didn’t recognize each other—don’t ask).  I liked the meet-in-a-bar concept, and saw a change to use it on the first world where the Nukari Beasts attacked.  However, I used it to introduce Anrik instead. Funny how things change-up.

The resolution to Toriko’s professor’s death was also added. It gave me a chance to really give a spine to Toriko. Everything that happens to her concerning the death of the professor, including getting the new outfit and ship from Maro, was added in the rewrite. Personally, I think it added amazing depth to Toriko (and Maro).

The chapters with Nikko, Cogeni, and his mother were in the original manuscript. Nikko was far more passive in her first incarnation. She also hid the fact she had abilities from Cogeni. I think she was so weak because, of all the characters, I didn’t understand who she was at the time. By the time I starting re-editing book 2, she became far clearer to me.  After all, I had already written the fourth manuscript where (never mind—no spoilers)…  Just believe me, I clearly understood her now.  So, I evolved her in book 2. She was more confident, capable, an equal. This was a great change!

The various leads, and exploration of Luon was all in the original manuscript. I created more interesting descriptions of the characters and main locations. I had to rewrite the problem Zuri had with Allia to make it more plausible, in addition to Allia pushing herself to manifest her abilities. Otherwise, the essence of those chapters stayed the same—including Seigie’s “cure.”

Turf War was the reworking of what used to be about the Nukari beasts defense of a Nukari controlled Dyson Sphere (think Star Trek The Next Generation here). In the new version, Eden was tracking the beasts and led Rhysus’ team to them. With this I wrote an entirely new battle scene, really digging into the specifics of each character’s experience.

The next section covered finding Cerna. This originally came much later in book 3. However, adding Cerna now added an interesting element to book 2. Here the group ran back into the relic store owner from the first book.  He was an ancient “Dark Lord” from Cerna’s world. Seeing I took him out of the first book, he needed to get pulled from the second. I also changed the group landing on an asteroid and finding a shrine with information, to more of a gateway shrine. I also made the shield around the Cosmic Temple activate to force the characters inside. The experience inside the template was vastly shortened. The original version had them exploring more inside the temple finding traps left by Dark Lords, messages from Cerna’s faction, etc. It will be useful for a future video game version, but not for a succinct, focused reading experience.

I also embellished the memory crystal records inside the temple, and the technology that kept her alive.  Originally Cerna was in a leaf-like tomb, which had to be cut into to find her. The descriptions around this tomb were sparse, and honestly not inspired.  So, I reworked the entire thing.

There was also a side quest to find her glaive after freeing her. Also, before going back to the asteroid base she had Rhysus take her down to her world to see the aftermath. There was even a segment where she reanimated a prisoner to free him. Again, unnecessary. Cut.

The mission to attack the “big Nukari ship” remained mostly the same from the original. There were more Nomads involved, which were simplified down to one core representative in the final story. There were so many characters in my books. I learned to really only name ones that mattered.

Once Katen was a part of the group, the final showdown with the Nukari Beasts could take place. Foul 359 was an entire new piece, and the big crescendo for book 2.  As you may have read, I worked in many references, homages, puns, etc. from popular science fiction and video games into the story.  Foul 359 is an anagram for Wolf 359 from Star Trek The Next Generation…  It’s where the Borg with Locutus (Picard turned Borg) attacked the Federation.  I thought it would be fun to play with in my story.

A few things happened in this new ending that helped the future books. Mainly, Anrik had been captured. The Nukari would now have lots of information about the Human Coalition. Katen saved the day, which helped show his allegiance. Decreta was also captured, which is how the original Dyson Sphere version went down.

In the end, the rewrite also had Mencari finally accepting his wife and son’s demise and taking off the ring he so tightly clung to up to this point.

The other notable aspect that changed in book 2’s rewrite was Mini-T. Before she was a helper system, much like the original concept for Bob. Instead, she rapidly evolved into an advanced AI. This continues through the series. Wait until you see what happens in book 4…  But I digress.

On, one final addition… The boy with the green eyes!  Now, he plays a big role after book 4… So I wanted to introduce the concept of him here. See, it’s a good thing I didn’t release all these books yet. I had the chance to evolve things and make it seem like it was always planned this way.  😉

The epilog was originally a part of the final chapter. It just worked better isolated since it was from the perspective of the Nukari and not Rhysus or his group.

 

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Book 3: Descension

The prolog was brand new. It was so much fun to write!  I LOVED envisioning Kajlit’ga.  She’s such a beast, and yet, I found she had redeeming qualities.  I didn’t intend that, but that’s what I saw and thought, so that’s what I typed.  It gave her depth, which was fantastic.

The pocket work concept was in the original manuscript.  However the entire set of chapters came much earlier in book 2. It now led book 3.  This was interesting as it introduced another unique power to the D’mok literary universe (and possibly future video game). 😉

I added more descriptions of the moon, and create a color caste system for the Aloan defenders and High Dome Guards. Those encountered with ability stifling powers, and mindseers was all new. I thought it added a lot of color to Aloan society, and really helped show how a world of super-beings would be run.

I cleaned up the interactions in the museum, specifically with accessing the ancient D’mar section. I went into more detail about Jeyla, Siana, and Raitr (as they show back up in book 4, and I understood them better now). I also tweaked D’gorra’s presence, and the final experience on the moon leading to D’gorra’s power grab. The rest stayed the same.

The Nukari trap that springs on Ruul really evolved nicely. The world of Ruul became a space junk wasteland, and with it a whole new set of dynamics and scenery. I love how it transformed!  As such, I worked on making the trek through Ruul appropriate given the new terrain and threats.

As Rhysus was searching for Toriko’s group, I changed how they found one another.  Originally Naijen did a massive attack that ripped up through the ground, and Rhysus and company flew down. It was far too convenient.  I took the idea of Naijen creating massive attacks, and rewrote the scenario so something he did still led to the catastrophe going on across Ruul.  But I redid how Rhysus found Toriko’s group. In the new version the Nukari were also more of a threat.

The original version also had Rhysus with a mental break, which was far too cliché for me now. One of his over-powered attacks led to a near collapse of the tunnels, leading to a combination of Seigie and Speru’s abilities to keep the roof from collapsing. The new version is better.

Moonbase Alpha covered the interrogation of the captured Nukari commander and the Nukari beast from the end of book 2. Specifically, Katen used his abilities to Mindwalk the beast. This was in the original manuscript, but was removed from the third book. My editor, Arlene, said it just interrupted the flow of things.  I totally agreed, but wanted to make sure people could still experience the mindwalk. That’s why I created a self-contained short story of the removed mindwalk section.

The rest of the moonbase alpha and K’pec chapters remained the same.

The mission where Kiyanna took the group to Keros had some tightening, but remained the same for the most part.

Beast Hollow was refined to be more plausible given the characters, their knowledge, and skills of the group at that point. Decreta’s space travel ability was back up and usable, Bob and Mini-T were able to hack systems in the new version, and I wanted to show off more of the Nukari genetic experiments and beasts.  I also involved the Nomad fleet in helping to destroy the Nukari space station. In the end, I think it was more action packed than the original.  Osuto’s overuse of his abilities was also in the original manuscript.

I punched up the drama for Paradise Lost (playing off of Milton’s story talking about “Eden”). You also get to find out who the boy with the green eyes is.  Again, none of this history existed in the story until the rewrite. I even came to understand myself more about Eisah’s mother.

Legends never die dramatically changed.  For starters, in the revised version Kiyanna had a major role in designing the attack on the Nukari. She really shined!  What she planned, and how she executed it was not in the original script.  I LOVED the rewrite!

In the original version Cerna unleashes Sabereth around her homeworld. Why she did this it didn’t say. I theorized she did it so if the Nukari or other unwelcomed people came back to her nebula they wouldn’t get the power of the Cosmic Temple. Regardless, in the rewrite she does not free the cosmic entity. However, this opens the door for what’s going to happen in a future book.  Again, can’t mention more about that yet!  Sorry!

The attack on the Nukari Command, now called the Nukari Colonial Authority, was very different. The original version had three specific missions presented in the book. They took place at the same time, so the reader experienced one at a time, but saw references to help understand the timeline. While interesting, and GREAT for a video game experience (think the end of Final Fantasy 6), the book version needed one clear thread to follow.  So, I simplified it down to one view of the battle.

The big scene with the Leviathan remained the same from the original manuscript.  I was always proud of that particular scene.  It will be awesome in a future movie… Haha.

I reworked Dane’s character to be a bit less obtuse with the situation too.

In the end, I added a small part with Eisah in the dream sequence. The rest of that chapter remained the same, including the cliff hanger surprise! I was very proud of the way the original manuscript ended and kept it!

I wrote a new epilog from Kajlit’ga’s perspective. You saw her final rise to power, and what the Nukari were doing in the aftermath of the allied attack on them. The reader will know the story is far from over.

 

And there you have it!  How the original manuscript evolved into the current Nukari Invasion Trilogy!

D’mok Revival: Descension’s cover design

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The pressure was on. The Awakening had a fantastic cover. I loved the nebula and the arachnid-like space station. Then came the incredible visualization of the asteroid base for Retribution’s cover. After two amazing starts, I fretted about how to keep the trend going–even topping the previous ones!

What to put on the third cover? It had to be visually striking, invoke an emotion. I thought about the core story of the third book, and the tension slowly building over the course of the trilogy. Inspiration struck! It was obvious. I had to show the Nukari armada.  I smiled as a vision appeared in my mind.
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I scrawled down the image on a scrap of envelope paper.  Now, for those that have not read the third book yet, this is NOT a spoiler for the following reasons: 1) their armada has been threatening since the first book, 2) the back cover tells you the armada comes out swinging, 3) the prolog at the beginning of the book talks about the armada and a gateway being built.  I won’t provide any spoilers or additional information about the scene than what I just mentioned.

Now, beyond the general descriptions of Nukari ships, no rendered versions of their vessels existed!  If I wanted to display them, we needed a design. Then there was the gate. There were aspects mentioned in the book, but nothing out-rightly specific about the visuals. It’s always fun to provide enough information to let the reader visualize their version in their mind. But, if I wanted that on the cover too, it would also need to be visually concepted.

So began the design for Nukari ships. I wanted them to be aggressive, dangerous looking, and capable. They needed to look like they could take a pounding, and deal great damage.  I made a quick list of the things that instilled fear people, as its the effect the Nukari would want their ships to have on opponents.  I looked to our “lizard brains” for stimuli there…  There’s 6 questions your lizard brain asks of every pieces of stimulus throughout the day: 1) can I eat it, 2) can it eat me, 3) can I kill it, 4) can it kill me, 5) can I have sex with it, 6) can it have sex with me (perhaps unwanted).

A few obvious criteria jump out: can it kill me, can I kill it, can it eat me.  Then I went to nature, what types of nature’s gifts create natural offenses/defenses for animals? Skin texture, natural body covering (scales, shells), body coloring, claws, teeth, a solid body structure, muscular composition, body size, and distance based defenses.  I then performed an animal image search on Google looking for various creatures.

After searching various creatures with tusks (boars and mammoths), horns (rhinos), and sleekness (black panther), I came across the Pangolin.

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Beautiful creature.  It doesn’t look very deadly, but it looks well defended with its sturdy body scales.

This was the upgraded vision…

cover-3-first-concept

I sent the concepts off to my amazing 3D designer, Glenn Clovis, who began to render a number of options.  Some were more industrial, some more organic… Here are two of the many versions he did.  I’m showing these because they’re both officially a part of the D’mok Revival universe and protected assets (thanks to copyrights).  Yes, the ship on the bottom will be used–I’m not tell where, when, or how yet… But I do know.)

Dmok3_StagateAndConcepts

I really loved the slick, smooth, almost squid like version (at the bottom).  But it didn’t “feel Nukari” to me.  The overlapping armor layers of the top ones were like the Pangolin, and felt great.  I knew this was the right direction.

He reworked the design based on some feedback.

Dmok3_CapitalShip_N
SO COOL!  Though the initial ship seemed too small.  Perhaps it would make a great fighter, but not the big “Laviathan” ship mentioned. I provided some feedback, and the next evolution appeared. He also started to apply the overlapping armor layers to the gate.
gate render
I liked where this was going. It still looked too vulnerable in the middle. I also wanted the front to look like “a deadly face.”  So we swapped the front cannons with longer, tusk-like components.  I also suggested we continue the layers of body armor to the rear of the ship.
revised-for-glenn
I made some suggestions like the following…
ship-size-contrast
Glenn took that and iterated.  To simply the design, we dropped the side cannons, and added a larger front cannon (inspired by the Bird of Prey from Star Trek).  After review, I thought it was cool, but had him add a second smaller one directly under it (it would have its uses).  We ended up with the following design:
final-annotations

There, now that we had the ship, we could go after the gateway.  I wanted the designs to look related since the Nukari made both the ship and gate technologies.  After a few revisions, the overlapping armor was applied to the design.

Now we had to combine them.  We investigated a few angles (head-on, from the side, from an angle, etc.).  I wanted a dramatic scene.  My very first vision had an extremely closer perspective looking up at a sharp angle. We ended up being a little further back since the up-close view looked a bit distorted.  I wanted people to see the amazing detail of the ship, gate, and future nebula.
Glenn assembled the complete picture.
dmok3
The nebula was instantly striking (he’s so good). There was some lighting tweaks, and some changing of the effect within the gate. In the end, to provide scale, I thought we could go back to the “fighter” design and add some in.  It would make it look like an armada coming through the gate (Which was the point), and help explain the big ship was — BIG.
book-3-wallpaper

And BOOM!  It’s one of those things where you see it and go, “THIS IS IT!”  I was blown away.  I was thrilled!  We’d done it again. I love collaborating with Glenn.  He’s a visionary, so very talented, and easy to work with (and patient with me).

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Planning for the third book launch for January

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It’s time for another launch party! To kick things off I made one of my famous lists:

What is D’mok Revival: Mindwalk?

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During the editing process of book three, my amazing editor, Arlene Robinson, voiced her concern about two specific chapters. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, she felt they interrupted the pacing and focus of the overall story arc.

The two chapters in question were around 13,000 words that covered the mindwalk that the character known as Katen does in the mind of the Nukari beast captured in book two.

The segment exposed a great deal of information about what’s going on in the Nukari side of the universe.  Specifically, where the contemporary Nukari beasts were created, what type of master Kajlit’ga was, how the Nukari beast felt about Nukari activities, and what they knew about Rhysus Mencari.

It was very difficult to pull it from book three because I felt it really provided great insights into what’s happening in the D’mok literary universe.  It also exposed the mysterious personalities of Fio’tro and Fia’ra, and proved they were more than a bad case of dementia for Katen. In fact, you see their abilities and finally understand that Katen’s powers are actually a result of channeling what all three beings once individually did.

My editor did, in fact, review the content and professionally edit it. In response to some of her concerns and confusions, I added more content taking the word count to over 15,000.  In the end, she really enjoyed it and saw the value in what it added to the D’mok literary universe.

I couldn’t sit on this! I wanted to share it, especially for the amazing fans of the D’mok series.  So, I decided to package it up and release it as a stand-alone short story.  In late December, D’mok Revival: Mindwalk will go public.  To help with getting the word out, I’m going to provide in from two sources: Amazon for a minimal cost and, for fans, a special link to the D’mok Revival site where existing fans can get it for FREE. 😉

I’m looking forward to getting feedback on what people think about Mindwalk.