Toriko Tales Book 1 Is Complete!

I’m happy to report the first draft of Toriko Tales is complete! It took so much longer than anticipated. Of course, a global pandemic, change of job, and occasional writers-block will cause delays!

As the title suggests, Toriko from the main D’mok Revival series is the main protagonist. The great part of the book takes place on her homeworld of Tericn, and centers on the topic on artificial intelligence. More specifically the ethics and varied cultural responses to this advanced technology. As always, there’s plenty of interpersonal conflict, including the trauma of her parents demise when she was a child, and her ongoing relationship struggles with her older sister. Also, an entire set of new characters join the D’mok Revival literary universe.

Readers can expect plenty of references and cameos to characters from the D’mok Revival and Weun Academy series. Even though the Murai Dome and Tericn was visited in the first book of the D’mok Revival series, only a few areas were explored at that time. This required me to do extensive construction of the 11 versions (“levels”) of the Murai Dome itself and explain how the some of the older technologies are still leveraged to create the living environment currently inhabited by Terconians.

I wrote over forth-three pages (16,800 words) of backstory so I could authentically represent the new characters, circumstances, and locations feature in Toriko Tales. Some of these written explorations were used to break through the few instances of writer’s block suffered. I found the reason I could not move forward was because I didn’t understand the history of the characters or location in the scene. This technique became my “go to method” to get that “movie playing in my head” again.

I’ve reached out to my amazing author Arlene Robinson, and we’re working out the details to have her edit my latest work. I’m thrilled to be teaming up with Arlene again!

My immediate next steps are

  1. Incorporate feedback my Matt Zummo (my first line of review)
  2. Get the manuscript out to my Beta Readers and incorporate their feedback
  3. Get the manuscript in the hands of Arlene Robinson
  4. Determine if I’ll self-publish or go for an agent

So, what’s it like? Toriko Tales is forty chapters strong, with a prologue and epilogue. The final product will include details about Tericn’s capital city the Murai Dome, and the translations of conversations between Toriko and Spark (which appear in binary in the main book).

The current manuscript comes in at 81,597 words. My original goal, the lower-bound for science fiction novels, was 80,000. I truly feel it was the right size to tell this Toriko focused story. It certainly sets up many dynamics in the D’mok literary universe, many of which will begin to be seen in Weun Academy 2 and D’mok Revival book 5.

Here’s a little preview of the (working) chapter names:

  1. Invictus
  2. Spilled Milk
  3. The EEE
  4. Phrenicide
  5. The Ardent Syndrome
  6. The Prodigal Kitten
  7. The Catadel
  8. Punitive Cogitation
  9. Mini-T v2
  10. Creature Comforts
  11. The Mind Hack
  12. Team Purg
  13. Murai Dome v9
  14. Cat fight
  15. The Evidence Vault
  16. Army of the Broken
  17. Wound Licking
  18. The Catress’ Lair
  19. Level One
  20. Sirra AI
  21. The First Lie
  22. The Past Is Present
  23. Old Wounds
  24. PvE
  25. The Alternative
  26. The Closer
  27. Clara Mortem
  28. The Crowned Paw
  29. The “Do Different”
  30. Uncrating
  31. Bansa
  32. Edrell Lab
  33. Sins of the Parents
  34. Eudorian Sanctuary
  35. Hacker Royale
  36. The First Meridian
  37. Destination Known
  38. T-Town
  39. The Manufactory
  40. Fallout

I’ll keep you posted as editing is done and next steps are taken.

In the meantime, I’m going back and reviewing Weun Academy 1’s manuscript. It never did find an agent. I may move forward with self-publishing that title at this point.

ALSO, as many of you know, Weun Academy 2: The Sabereth Incident is already a few pages in! I know, I can’t help it. I think I’m addicted to writing. I’m taking a moment to retread and run my formal process of understanding the character, location, and plot in order to advanced WA2’s manuscript. More on that in a future post!

Until then, stay safe!

Unexpected emotion

I just had “a moment.” You know those scenes in a movie where a writer is furiously writing and crying at the same time–in the zone–emotion erupting. I always thought that was so cheesy. Not anymore.

I’m working on Toriko Tales in chapter 23 titled “old wounds.” It’s central to explaining a lot of Toriko’s formative past and impacted present. But going back and touching Toriko’s memories, things she had long buried (and perhaps had professionally blocked) trauma was–painful.

It’s fascinating, embarrassing, and enheartening to cry over something that happened to “your character.”

Anyone who knows me understands “my characters” are far from words on a page. They’ve always been people–friends–that I get to visit and know better when I write. That sounds like a desperate plea for help, but it’s not.  It’s just how writers work.

“Write what you know.” Well, I know them.

With every word that I typed, my own eyes awash, I kept thinking “I’m so sorry, Toriko.  I am so sorry.” As if her pain was “real.”

Now, obviously this is coming from somewhere. Childhood trauma. Disconnection from parents and context. Everything being turned upside down. I have plenty of things from my own life that’s clearly inspiring this grander version of things. Perhaps that’s what was releasing.  Certainly, the way she comes back from it is the mantra I use concerning acknowledging past loss and pain, then focusing on what I have today.

But shesh! Intense!

I hope it translates to future readers and feels authentic as it had for me.

Just wanted to share.

Successful Launch of D’mok Revival: New Eden

The launch party for D’mok Revival: New Eden was held at Bayview Library in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on Saturday, December 3rd, 2016 at 3pm.

Here’s a link to the event video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7DjsRhfeUM

I wanted to thank all the incredible family, friends, and fans that came to the event! It means the world to me to have such amazing support.  It felt great to talk about the series, and unveil my latest novel. I even got to tease a little about Weun Academy and the HoverDome board game.

But the best part for me was the Q&A segment at the end came. There were so many great questions! You really made me dig deep to answer them.

Here’s the door prizes:

neweden-giveaways2 newdengiveaways1

As always, my son, Derek, helped pick the winning tickets. Congratulations to the winners of the door prizes!  I hope you all enjoy them.

mikeandderek

I also wanted to thank the following friends and family for helping to set up, run, and take down the event: Derek Zummo, Sam Zummo, Elizabeth Zummo, Kristin Zummo, Anthony Zummo, Matt Ferrara, Kathy Ferrara, Lauren and Jake Eveland, Bob Solem, It takes a village sometimes, and I’m thankful for mine.

Here’s some more photos from the event:

ryanandsusie mikeandmatt mike-and-susie mikeandneweden mikeandtrilogy

 

Fail Fast, Fail Often—Evolve

 

I followed through with what I said I would do. Starting a few weeks ago, I hopped on querytracker.net and began submitting to agents. And yes, the headline means the rejection notices have started coming in.

For starters, it sounds a lot easier than it is.  There’s a number of things you need to do before submitting to agents:

  • Write a compelling query letter
  • Write your synopsis (3-4 pages tops)
  • Clip the first five pages of your book
  • Investigate agents on querytracker.net and see may be the best fit

Anxious to get this process moving, I did my vetting and sent out three initial queries with limited customizations for each agent.

Within 24 hours I had my first email form letter rejection. The next one came a few days later.  They are not fun to get. But, given that many places don’t even respond now (and can take up to 6-8 weeks to do a form letter rejection), I appreciated the quick responses. It really forced me to scrutinize my work, and admit the problems.

I have to be honest, when I sent out the submissions my query letter had a drab conviction statement (why this book, why me writing it) and I wasn’t happy with the first five pages of chapter one. Right? I know. The first pages are the most important. The rest of the book is solid—honest!  BUT, what was I thinking?

“Always put your best foot forward.” I had to remind myself that agents are already flooded with a million other submissions from people just like me. They’ll give me two seconds to catch their attention. If I don’t (and readers at book stores and on Amazon do this too), game over. No second chances, no second glances. That book is stuck on the black list of do not respond to…

So, okay. I literally rewrote Chapter 1 (which is really just 5 pages anyway). I tightened it up, reduced out information the reader really didn’t need to know (even if I as the author wanted to tell them “all this cool stuff that came from the original trilogy”). It’s MUCH more focused and compelling! Hey, better late than never I guess.  See, I’m learning all the time yet!

I also thought a lot about “Why this book now?” In the first version I talked about how I channeled my own live experiences into the characters, which made them more accessible and relate-able. Well, isn’t that wonderful. What author can’t say that?! Well, we all should be able to say that…  I needed something that spoke to the uniqueness of the approach.

When I think about the book, beyond the traditional epic invasion with big bad guys, and the superhuman abilities, the heart of my story is a very intimate one. Rhysus Mencari would do anything to find and free his family. Anything. The kicker is what Mencari finds done to his family by his enemy. It’s far worse than death. After all that Mencari’s been through, including the self-hating for failing to protect them to begin with, what has been done pushes him over the edge.  That’s what the story is about.

So, I rewrote the conviction section to talk about that very dynamic. I also went back and pumped up my synopsis to include more of the dramatic and plot twisting moments that I left out “due to saving space.” Don’t use space for things that aren’t key to the interesting parts of your book, or readers of your synopsis will think your story is boring. “NEXT!”

I’m still learning every day. I just sent out two more queries today. We’ll see what happens to them.

Out of the interest in sharing (and potentially getting feedback—email me if you have any), here’s my complete submission: query letter, first five pages, and synopsis.  Even if this isn’t the final version that captures the interest of an agent, I believe in my series.  I’ll keep you posted on progress.

 

 

Dear x y,

<Insert something here about why you sent to them.> I am seeking representation for my adult science fiction novel, D’mok Revival: New Eden, complete at 111,000 words. The alien invasion is over. Rhysus Mencari and his D’mok Warriors have emerged victorious. But the scars of war run deep, and his duty is far from over. Enemy remnants cling to conquered worlds, their allies lurk in the dark, and the infamous Kajlit’ga and her superhuman beast warriors remain at large.

With the New Eden station finally operational, Rhysus Mencari and his allies gain a new platform from which to create an enduring freedom and lasting peace. But a discovery leads to a far more burdensome trial. The family he thought murdered are, in fact, prisoners of war. An obsession to free them taints his every move, and threatens to tear apart everything he created.

Rhysus Mencari, the warrior who lost his family, struggles to become the husband and father he was meant to be. The decisions and sacrifices he makes along the way breaches the trust of those he leads. Will the team he created remain loyal knowing his judgement is compromised, or take matters into their own hands? Despite all he’d seen during war, is he prepared for what has become of his family?

Why is this book important now? In a time when heroes like The Avengers and Captain Kirk battle epic enemies, my work layers on a far more intimate struggle. While already warring with his inadequacy to protect those he loves, Rhysus discovers his greatest enemy is the very family he longs to rescue.

New Eden is my sixth work in the D’mok Revival universe. An earlier trilogy and two novelettes were self-published. The first edition was launched at Chicago Comic Con 2013, promoted in SciFi magazine, and presented at events held by the Stan Lee Foundation. Over 3500 units were sold across eBook, audio format, and printed edition sales. It also won honorable mention in the science fiction category for the 2013 Reader Views Readers Choice Awards. New Eden serves as the entry point to attract a new audience while feeding the existing base.

I hope I’ve captured your interest. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Michael J. Zummo

http://www.dmokrevival.com

 

 

CHAPTER 1: The Dark Heart (the first 5 pages)

Rhysus, they’re alive.

                His mentor’s words echoed like demonic whispers in his mind. The longer he dwelled on it, the more exhausted he felt. Desperate for distraction, weary eyes scanned across the dark, makeshift quarters. The space felt sparse but functional, like his life.

Bursts of light pulled his attention to schematics and battle plans projected before him. Updates from his commanders streamed in, along with quivering panels which demanded his response. But the phrase wouldn’t let go.

They’re alive…

Helpless to resist, he found his gaze drawn to a small holographic image, floating just out of reach. There, a copper-skinned beauty draped with long black hair stood among a ragged crowd. A youth clung to her side, chocolate eyes peering out, beaded in terror.

Anaka. Rhyiel.

                His heart swelled with a confused mixture of love, loss, and shame.

The image was taken directly from the stolen Nukari archives, along with information that placed it posthumous for his family. It shouldn’t be possible, yet everything about it appeared legitimate.

               Alive…

His mind still rejected the notion. How many years had he suffered the same nightmare? He didn’t even have to be dreaming to relive it. Nukari fighters opened fire on the escape pod carrying his family. He heard his son’s cry, his wife’s shriek, felt the shockwave of the explosion. Each accursed time he awoke to the sound of his screams echoing off the walls. It was a cruel torment.

And yet, as his mind separated fact from fiction, reality from nightmare, one truth emerged. He never saw their escape pod explode. His superhuman abilities emerged in a blinding light before the Nukari even fired. Instead, he fell unconscious, waking weeks later in a top-secret Coalition hospital. There he learned of the complete annihilation of the Coalition’s space station, everyone aboard, including his family. The Nukari left no survivors—except him.

What he relived each night was not truth, but rather a fabrication of his own mind, served up in the most horrific way possible. Until seeing the recovered picture, he never considered another fate for his wife and son.

He fidgeted with the wedding ring he’d once taken off, having accepted their passing. Their survival should have made him feel better. It didn’t. His head shook in disgust. It shouldn’t be easier to believe they were dead. A part of him wished it true. Before, Anaka and Rhyiel met a quick fate. But now they were prisoners of a cruel and ruthless enemy.

Are they suffering?

He winced. His heart ached at the thought. There was no greater pain or shame than failing to protect his family. His stomach knotted. A bitter taste rose in his throat.

Will it be today?

                The phrase danced in his mind like steak dangled before a starving pit bull. The thought greeted him every morning. For a while it represented hope that a new discovery would lead to his family. But now? Now, it was a torturous mantra that mocked him. Desperate, it teased him before every attack, plagued him after each victory. The answer was always the same: no. All he wanted was one data point, one tiny clue to show him the way. Or, a sign their suffering had ended.

Rhysus, they’re alive.

He’d give anything—do anything—to free them. Despite it all, nothing he did got him any closer to it. He felt his heart pound, and his face prune with anger. Nothing would stop him, he’d keep hunting, until he had answers.

With a swipe in the air, the updates before him transformed into a holographic timeline dotted with events and glowing panels of information.

Nine months.

It felt longer. Kiyanna Kyoda had done well. The former military scout and hoverbike enthusiast had proved herself a skilled military strategist and D’mok Warrior. Her siege against the Nukari began with the destruction of their command hub.

                It was a calculated but desperate play. Her plan gave them the only chance to strike their elusive enemy, and strike hard. Though their victory came with great sacrifice. One undisputed hero emerged—a martyr.

Seigie

The memory still shook him.

Defeat seemed imminent. Nukari reinforcements poured through an intergalactic gateway connecting to their home space. A massive ship, the Leviathan, was only halfway through when its cannons began shredding the allied fleet. Despite combining abilities, his D’mok Warriors couldn’t damage the gateway or the massive ship.

He should have known Seigie wouldn’t honor an order to retreat. She charged her own crystal body and became a living bomb. He realized her plan too late and turned only in time to see her detonation. A blast of multicolored light blinded him. Then, the entire gateway twisted, the connection across space imploded. The Leviathan cleaved in half. Lights aboard it flickered moments before explosive decompression spewed equipment and people into space and a hellish glow engulfed the ship.

Seigie saved them.

                But I couldn’t save her.

Seigie’s sacrifice made Kiyanna’s plan succeeded. From that point forward Kiyanna led the strategic planning of their offenses. Her strategies struck hard and continued to deliver results.

The same stolen data that revealed his family lived also enabled his team to hunt down Nukari facilities, stalk their allies, and take their resources. He smiled. They bestowed the same mercy the Nukari gave to the Be’Inaxi, his fellow Humans, the Nomads, and countless other races: none. The Nukari deserved nothing more.

He looked across the timeline. Each dot called to mind the many critical junctures: the allied fleet returned to full strength, the liberation of Tericn, the capture of Nukari resource posts, and the freeing of indentured worlds. At the end of the timeline sat a large glowing sphere decorated with five crossed swords.

He grabbed into the air. Attack plans along with the latest field reports extruded from the swords emblem. A satisfied grunt escaped him. With the field commanders in place, the final push on Abunai could begin. Another of his D’mok Warriors would reclaim their home today. But what was the bigger surprise: Naijen waiting patiently and following directions to retake his world, or the fact it took two days for Kiyanna’s strategy to unite the indigenous clans and knock the Nukari back to their final stronghold? Both left him in awe. Both led to this moment. A roguish grin stretch across his face.

“Nowhere left to run.”

His words rang with a sadistic pleasure. Once they captured the Nukari leadership, he’d allow Naijen to work something useful out of them. One of them had to know something that could help him find his family.

A gentle tone accompanied a holographic video which projected beside him. He glanced over. Rigid stance, blond crewcut—Kiyanna.

Early as always.

                With a swiping gesture toward the video, it flashed green then disappeared. Behind him the door to the corridor opened. A gentle gust of cool air wafted in, along with the clopping of heavy leather boots.

“Sir.”

“Commander.”

She came to his side and snapped to attention with a quick salute.

He grinned. “At ease. You don’t really need to do that.”

“Habit, sir. I’d rather keep the formality.”

“As you wish. How goes preparations?”

“Ground teams are in position.…”

Before she could continue, a tone rang out again, with another video projection. An alien with a bony, light-blue exoskeleton, both aspects more prominent on his face, and pupil-less, jelly-like patches of red for eyes, waited impatiently.

“Ghn’en?” Mencari said, thinking aloud.

With a swipe, the door behind him opened. Mencari stood, concerned, and waited for the admiral of the Be’Inaxi fleet. The deep blues and purples of the Be’Inaxi uniform took on a grittier look in the dim light of the room. Ghn’en was an impressive specimen of his kind. In addition to his muscular, imposing size, he had two powerful arms, and two, more diminutive ones, directly underneath.

“Is there a problem?” Mencari said as the bulky alien marched in.

“Things been too quiet.” In place of a mouth, two vertical slits ran along an elongated nasal cavity, which moved as he talked in two tones at the same time, lending a singing quality to his speech. “Some strange reports with phantom readings that can never be verified. I don’t have good feeling about it. I think we should move up plans.”

“The ground teams can engage on a moment’s notice, sir,” Kiyanna added.

“Let’s check with the Nomads before making the final call.” The others nodded as Mencari spoke into the air. “Minea, please connect me to Varen.”

He didn’t need to see Minea to know she was there. The artificially intelligent creation of Toriko Purg, once known as Mini-T, seemed to have no bounds since the change.

A flurry of holographic cherry blossoms swirled above them. From it, a radiant light poured into a female form. The detail of Minea’s remarkably Human face and long sandy-blond hair appeared. Tall fox ears poked through the top, and a long bushy tail waved happily behind her. Long gone was the bright pink, high-tech suit with white neon stripes. Instead she wore a sleeveless royal purple tunic decorated with white flowers, and a black sash. White cloth wrapped her arms. A hip-length silver fauld with white trim made her look ready for battle. Despite the changes, she still held on to her dramatic flair.

She playfully wagged her fluffy tail. “Connect you to Varen? Since you asked so nicely!” With a wink, a portal of light appeared. It spun briefly before tipping over. As it fell, a humanoid with dark coral skin and short locks of turquoise appeared.

“Varen here.” His face was placid with an unnatural calm.

Ghn’en’s red-jelly eyes glowed. “How is far space faring?”

“Secured, and under continuous observation. We have seen an increase in phantom readings however.”

Ghn’en grunted. “See, we shouldn’t wait.”

“I would agree with the admiral,” Varen said.

“Then we mobilize our forces now. Remember the goal: take their leadership alive.”

“Yes, sir,” Kiyanna said with another salute.

“Minea, please prepare the shuttle,” Mencari said. “Kiyanna and I are heading down to Abunai.”

“You got it!”

Soon he’d have a lead on his family. He could feel it.

(BLOG NOTE: WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

D’mok Revival: New Eden Synopsis

RHYSUS MENCARI’s family died when aliens called the Nukari invaded. He spent years understanding the superhuman abilities which saved him, and assembling the D’mok Warriors, a band of aliens with abilities like his. When his forces defeated the Nukari, data taken from their archives revealed his family was not dead, but rather Nukari prisoners. From that moment on, gone was Rhysus Mencari, D’mok Warrior, savior of millions. In his place stood Rhysus Mencari, husband and father, desperate to rescue his family.

Now, he reflects on his predicament on the eve of an attack to reclaim his ally’s world from remnant Nukari forces. His true motivation: to find information about his family.  When the bloody attack is over, what’s left of Nukari leadership fails to produce new leads.

On the way back to their space station, New Eden, an anomaly redirects them to a rift in space. There they discover D’ABAR, an ancient mentor to one of Mencari’s D’mok Warriors. Visibly tortured, and near death, they bring him back to the station. There they discover D’abar was punished for giving aid to Mencari when he visited their world.

While D’abar is treated, the leader of New Eden reveals a lead on an abandoned Nukari space platform. To their surprise they find new aliens, the Nasidrac, have laid claim to the station. Wanting to investigate the former Nukari facility, Mencari takes his forces to negotiate. After a tense stand-off, the Nasidrac present the gutted technologies from the platform. Using powerful artificial lifeforms from New Eden, they assemble and reactivate the equipment to discover the location of another Nukari platform.

Probes to the new location reveal a platform still in use. However, it appears in the process of being evacuated. By the time the D’mok Warriors arrive, most of the platform appears abandoned. However, a small bundle of life signs draws them inside. Mencari senses the presence of his son. Deep inside the platform they find a host of prisoners left behind, guarded by a few Nukari soldiers. After dispensing with the soldiers, Mencari frantically searches for his family among the captives. Failing to find them, he begins to free prisoners, only to spring a Nukari trap. A torrent of beasts rushes at them. Only able to protect a few freed, Mencari dooms those still bound to a grisly death, while leading a retreat. While fending off the beast hoard, three super-human Nukari beast warriors attack. Among them is a powerful youth named JASK. As the D’mok Warriors and beasts battle, they discover Jask’s attacks cannot hurt Mencari. After a fierce fight, Jask collects his wounded allies and flees.

When Mencari’s team returns to New Eden they learn preparations to retake COGENI’s world, Argosy, are complete. Mencari hopes to capture the Nukari Commander on Argosy, and use him to get information about his family. Upon arrival they meet up with old allies who now also lead the resistance movement against the Nukari. They reveal the Nukari killed Cogeni’s mother, the matriarch and spiritual leader of Argosy, in order to take power of Argosy. Mencari must now help take back a world, and restore Cogeni as patriarch and ruler. Using New Eden technology, they disable Nukari defenses and trap their enemy. When a battle ensues, the Nukari Commander jumps to his death rather than be captured. Cogeni remains on Argosy, while Mencari returns agitated, again without new leads.

Upon returning to New Eden, Mencari and a team of D’mok Warriors go under cover as guards at a prison planet to rescue one of their own. When their escape attempt fails, and the team faces capture or death, the mounting pressures lead Mencari to a mental break. Unbounded, his abilities take on a mind of their own, sucking the power from his teammates and creating a way out. Despite their survival, Mencari falls unconscious. The event leaves his teammates wary of his degrading mental state and new power-draining ability.

Weary of Mencari’s unchecked power, D’abar questions whether Mencari is fit to lead.

While Mencari recovers, the D’mok Warriors, led by the telepath KATEN, respond to a distress call by the allied Human Coalition vessel. There they find Nukari beast warriors led by Jask and three silver-skinned youths attacking. Katen uses his abilities to mindwalk his enemies. His discovers the youths are actually from D’abar’s world and that Jask is really Mencari’s son, hidden in a beast-shaped encounter suit. Before the youths can be recovered, the Nukari flee.

Mencari awakens to news about the Coalition vessel, in addition to word they’ve found and freed his wife, ANAKA, from the Nukari. He travels with the damaged ship and a few D’mok Warriors into Coalition space to return their property and meet his wife. His self-loathing magnifies as he dwells on his inability to find and save her himself. His mental state worsens when he finds her medically sedated, her body ravaged from torture.

Before he can depart, the Coalition military threatens to harm Anaka if he doesn’t surrender to them. After he complies, he’s paraded before Nukari commanders that have taken over the Coalition. Nukari taunting combines with Mencari’s degrading mental state, leading to another unhinging. This time, his abilities create protective barriers around his allies, while incinerating his enemies in a fearsome blast of energy. He departs for the D’mok Warrior’s asteroid base along with his team and wife, leaving the Coalition in the hands of fellow Humans.

The D’mok Warriors, prodded by D’abar, discuss Mencari’s growing instability. D’abar creates doubt of Mencari’s leadership in the minds of the team. The team discusses their next mission, and directly exclude Mencari.

While in the asteroid base’s infirmary with his wife, a group of D’mok Warriors bring in a wounded Jask along with three youths from D’abar’s world. Mencari is exasperated to find out his team attempted such a mission without him. This is compounded by their revelation Jask is his son. His disbelief blends with the second instance of his inability to save his own family.

When a garbled transmission comes in from a still-captured allied world, Mencari leaves his unconscious family in the infirmary to make use of himself. He leads a small team, D’mok abilities blazing, to planet Aeun. There he is met by furious allies that don’t understand why he’s attacking. Its revealed the forces holding Aeun patriated after the main Nukari armada fell. The transmission was simply an update on their world’s status, not a distress call. Mencari is told he will be held accountable for the damage, and told to leave Aeun.

Upon return to the asteroid base, he finds it in ruin. While stabilizing the base and helping the wounded, he discovers his son caused the calamity. It’s revealed his wife had been conditioned while held prisoner to help Jask. Mencari is left wondering if Kajlit’ga architected the recovery of his wife and son for this outcome from the start. His wife helped free Jask, resulting in Katen’s obliteration. Once freed, it’s clear Jask attempted to destroy the base and kill everyone inside. Overwhelmed with grief, Mencari’s mind completely unhinges. He draws the conclusion his son is dead and only a monster lives on.

He chases his son across space to a world housing the remaining Nukari stronghold. His fellow D’mok Warriors and allies from New Eden follow to finally eliminate the Nukari. Jask reminds Mencari he’s powerless to hurt him. Using his new ability, an enraged Mencari draws the power from friend and foe alike for one devastating strike against Jask. The attack fails to hit Jask, smashing into the world below. Jask flees to the surface to save his Nukari friends.

When Mencari follows, a telepathic beast warrior enters his mind. Scanning his mind to learn what she can before killing him, sees the truth about Jask’s origins, and Mencari’s intentions. She realizes the deception Kajlit’ga used to control Jask and the beast warriors. Instead of killing Mencari, she heals his rage, and informs him she’s removed the mental conditioning from Jask’s mind. The monster is gone, and his son RHYIEL lives again. Furious at losing her pawn, Kalit’ga kills the telepath. When Kajlit’ga then uses her beasts as living shields to protect herself, the enslaved creatures turn on Kajlit’ga and kill her. The combined D’mok and allied forces destroy the remaining hostile Nukari.

Despite the victory, the trust between Mencari, his team, and allies are broken. He sets off to a location only known to his closest friends to help his family heal. D’abar steps into Mencari’s position as leader of the D’mok Warriors.

From the heart… Revising the 4th manuscript.

I’m currently in the revising phase of the fourth manuscript in the D’mok Revival series.  This involves thinking about the first three books with the changes to characters, places, abilities, etc. and allowing myself to “rewatch” the scenes in this latest manuscript. I then update the manuscript with those new visions.

The entire manuscript is around 270 unformatted (not typeset for publishing) page in Microsoft Word. The current word count is around 92,000, which is on-par with the other three books. In the end, it will easily be 400+ typeset pages when published.

I’m very happy with the recent progress, and the direction of the manuscript. I originally wrote it back in 2010. I was in a very different place in my life then, and clearly the story was heavily influenced by my own personal struggles at the time. Five years down the road, I’m such a different person, and have a dramatically different perspective on things. Not to mention my writing style has evolved. This has led to a great deal of refactoring large chunks of the story.

That isn’t the only reason, of course. I’d received feedback starting with the release of the first book stating I needed to keep a strong focus of the story action on Rhysus Mencari, the main character.

I think it’s fine to present sections from the perspective of other characters as it allows the reader to become deeply connected with the inner workings of the other characters. But the main story is about Rhysus Mencari. Keeping this in mind, I’m rewriting entire segments to be from Rhysus Mencari’s perspective.

What’s interesting is rather than inflicting the reader with my raw emotion through characters in the original version, readers are now treated to a more mature view from Rhysus Mencari’s perspective. In essence, I’ve traded off the pain of the experience, for the wisdom of a path already traveled.

To be honest, some of the dynamics written about back in 2010 were incredibly raw and real. They contained direct conversations I had with someone formerly close to me—things which hurt me deeply—and I immortalized it in the dialogue between characters going through the same ordeal in my story.

I thought, at the time, it was a very good idea.  After all, one of the strengths of the D’mok Revival series was the ability to present very real and relatable characters and situations. Reviewing the manuscript now, I certainly captured the exactness of what happened back in 2010. However, it now feels better left private. Don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly cathartic to write it out at the time. It’s still somewhat like looking at a scar revisiting those lines and phrases. But the original emotional need I had to expunge the experience and externalize it on paper has served its purpose.

The Michael Zummo of 2015 would rather provide my series fans with what I learned from the experience, rather than tiresome drama. The rewritten segments are still real, while returning it to a realm I feel more appropriate (and mature).

Anyway, I’m very excited in the transformation happening in the fourth manuscript. My goal is to still have the book ready by the holiday season.  It is August, and I know many editors (including my wonderful editor Arlene Robinson) are getting slayed right now. So, we’ll see when the final release date is.  I also need to start working with Glenn Clovis on the cover too (oooh, yeah, I really need to get moving on that too).

D’mok Revival: The Aloan Conspiracy Novelette Cover Design

Readers always ask where the ideas come from for book covers. I’ve posted a number of times about the process I’ve used and the evolution of the various covers in the D’mok Revival series. I guess it’s important to keep that tradition alive.

For those that are current in the D’mok Revival series, you’ll remember Speru Chew’s world of Alo. It’s the first major adventure in book 3, D’mok Revival: Descension. Without spoilers, politics abound on that world. One of the pinnacle moments there involved the moon set ablaze with energy, and the resulting power burst that streaked away from it.  It’s certainly one of the moments that comes to mind when I think about Rhysus Mencari’s experience there. It seemed fitting to evoke the memory of that event, and provide a picture of what Mencari saw there.

This is a space opera series, so I went to the traditional presentations from books and television. Picturesque images are common place. So I created an initial sketch.

Crude mock-up for the second novelette

Crude mock-up for the second novelette

The blazing moon was peaking over the horizon of Alo. I sent it, along with some example photos (thank you Google Images) to my amazing illustrator Glenn Clovis. As a sidebar, I could never say enough about Glenn. He’s amazingly talented, a dream to work with, and makes manifest your dreams!

He sent back this amazing image.

First version of the cover based on my crude sketch.

First version of the cover based on my crude sketch.

Beautiful, isn’t it? It felt very Star Trek the Next Generation or Star Trek Voyager (which is great). Though, it felt very still. That wasn’t Glenn’s fault, it’s exactly what I asked for from him. It needed some type of action, something that would pull people in. Good covers make people go “oooh,” and also makes them ask questions—makes them want to be there.

Then I remembered “the streak” from the end of the chapter. I created a quick sketch and shot it over to Glen. The following is my original with Glenn’s response.

cover-thoughts untitled

You’ll notice the dramatic shift in design. How incredible. It really punched things up.  As always, I took it to my Facebook page to get feedback from my incredible fans and followers. It was received very well, though some people mentioned it looked like a highway of light more so than a streak. Fair enough!

I put another tweaked version out there, that was better received.

My "comet effect" version

My “comet effect” version

Glenn made a few adjustments, and BAM!  The final cover was ready.

Glenn's final version with the series branding applied.

Glenn’s final version with the series branding applied.

So there you have it!  D’mok Revival: The Aloan Conspiracy will be available on Amazon within a day!  Check it out and let me know what you think.  Don’t forget to post your review on Amazon.com as well.  🙂

D’mok Revival series continues!

While I wanted to give myself a little time from writing, my other related side project (which I’ll talk about at my book launch party on January 31st) hasn’t kept me busy enough.  Yes, I’ve been getting bored, and book 4 has been calling.

Since mid-December, I’ve actually been working on editing the fourth manuscript for D’mok Revival. I’m thankful for the many lessons I’ve learned to date. It clearly has impacted my approach.

Most notably, I’m not going to positon this as the fourth book in the series.  What I’ve found is a great resistance to people reading books 2 and 3 if they didn’t read book 1.  Or, if they have read the first book didn’t like it, they wouldn’t continue forward. Again, I understand why. If the first one wasn’t something people liked, why would they continue?  However, my writing style dramatically shifted as I revised the manuscript for book 2. I feel like there’s literally thousands of people (since book one has sold thousands of copies) that have not experienced this new style, and would like it more.

Therefore, the new book will come next with respect to the timeline (“the fourth book”) but it will be positioned as a new entry in the D’mok literary universe, perhaps as a new trilogy, but not just as “book 4.”  It may seem subtle, but if people read it as book 4, they’ll assume they have to read the first three to understand it.  That will not be the case. This new book will cover what a reader needs to know without going back and experiencing the first three in sequence. 😉

My other observation diving back into the fourth manuscript is how painful it can be to look at “old work.”  Sure, this manuscript was written back in 2010 and was the best writing I did to date, but… Yiesh…  I’m very proud of how far my style has come, which I can attribute to an amazing editor / mentor, and great feedback from an equally amazing fan base!  Honestly, I’m very grateful for the honesty and support I’ve been given. It drives me forward, and pushes myself to evolve and become a stronger writer!

Pulling the proverbial curtain back a moment, one of the more embarrassing aspects was the four unique story threads that fired off at the beginning of the book. This wasn’t just a parallel storyline (which I’m told is difficult to do effective), no I had four.  As if the reader was going to be able to keep any of it straight!  Perhaps George Martin can handle that (Game of Thrones anyone), but I should probably avoid it.  😉

Instantly, entire sections of the manuscript began shifting around. I’m also going to take one of the early threads and push it into a separate novelette, much like I did with the Mindwalk story. There are other candidates within the book 4 manuscript that may join it as well.

One of the biggest challenges is how evolved the D’mok universe, its locations and characters have become.  For instance, the contemporary version of Kiyanna would literally not do a number of the things presented in book 4.  By the end of book 3 she’s doing exactly what she’s always wanted–always planned–to do.  She’s not just going to up and abandon that for a side mission.  However, in the right circumstances, while not having to give up the momentum she gained at the end of book 3, she would do the majority of what I originally wrote in 2010.

I get really excited when most of my original content holds up. It’s a great feeling! While still a bit painful, it’s fun to go back and upgrade these original manuscripts and see what happens.  It’s funny; I still remember the original story and approach.  I’ll have to do a post sometime about viewing rewrites as “quantum-realities” or “retconning.” But I honestly enjoy this final version.

The characters constantly surprise me, and I can’t wait to see how book 4 transforms.  It’s not due out until holiday 2015 (sorry).  But, maybe I can publish some of the book 4 short stories… maybe the prolog too. Maybe. 😉